Still can't skip commercials

I am totally addicted to my TiVo.

The ability to time shift my video viewing habits is...well....cool. If you want to examine a scene for more detail or just because it is interesting, it's easy.

Repetition exposes patterns. You see it in music. You see it in art. You see it in Groundhog Day. Patterns happen.

Case in point. You are pre-transition and want to tell your (parents/siblings/best friend/laundromat/pet-shop owner that you buy that really great dog food from) about your function.

There are a few ways this can go.

Case 1

All out rejection. "Get out of my face. I never want to see you again."

This one hurts but at least it is over with - mostly. Some people come back around. It can start with complete shunning followed by a very slow resumption of relationships.

Case 2

Acceptance? Yeah sure.

"Oh, that is soooo great! Of course we will support you."

Cue the happy music. Transitioner is in bliss, everything is fine. Right?

Then you find that the person is really just giving you a line. They are repulsed and really want to get away.

An example of this is when Mom and Dad are cool with things in person - only to try and have you committed the next week. This usually involves them bringing 'experts' in to agree with their rejection of you. Education is harder because they already have their minds made up.

Case 3

Adoption.

You get to be a mascot. "Oh, we'll go shopping."

Think of this as the life-size Barbie mode. It does wear off (eventually) but then they tend to out you to everyone they know ('Isn't it wonderful how accepting I am?').

Case 4

Leary acceptance.

Strangely enough, this is one of the best. People are skeptical but not unaccepting but not quite accepting up front. They are worried but can calm down on the fretting when they see you aren't walking the mall in a tutu and a purple beehive.

Case 5

Non issue.

Sure, everyone talks a good line. But the people who see you, who really SEE YOU are rare. These are the people who will stick with you. They may have trouble with names and pronouns (who doesn't) but it isn't vindictive.

If you have these people in your life then KEEP THEM AROUND. They are few and far between.


Any of the people who ultimately accept you will probably have problems with your name and pronouns. Keep a sense of humor. Don't jump down their throats. Gently correct them when appropriate (a vigorous correction could result in the lack of ALL pronouns - which, in my opinion, is worse).