Sneaking Around in a Smart Way

So you are going to Transition on the job.

Now what?

Who do you talk to? What is step one?

I ran into this problem. I work for a very large company - one that is known to be friendly to transitioners. So, no problem, right?

Wrong.

The problem is the 'Big Secret'. This is a piece of info that is too juicy to keep bottled up for very long. If you release the info too close to home, then chances are it will splatter on you. Then you can be in a bad way (or you may not. But, there is a good chance you won't be in control of things).

1. Get in touch with someone and find out what the policies are. Set up an anonymous email and write HR. Better yet, if you are lucky enough to be in a company with a GLBT organization, then talk to them. They may be able to do some footwork for you. Hopefully, they can find someone in HR to contact. I would do this at least SIX MONTHS PRIOR.

2. Stress privacy. Explain that you are not letting this info out and if it gets back to you that it is public knowledge - you will know where it came from.

3. Meet with HR. If HR is on site then you don't need to meet them as you will when you DO go full time. Talk to them. Let them know the issues, concerns. Who are you concerned about? Bathrooms? Do you want to transfer?

Chances are is that the HR person will want to do research at this point.

The hard part is keeping quiet. You are moving on something HUGE in your life. It is terrifying but it is also something you want to get on with. Plan who you will talk to. My theory was that I wouldn't burden someone with it too soon because it is a hard thing to not pay attention to. Telling someone and swearing them to silence puts undue stress on them.

If they ask, however, I would tell.

After HR has had time to digest they will want to do a couple things.

1. Sensitivity training. This would be your call. You know your workplace. I thought it would be a little insulting to them. I had HR hold off on this.

2. Disclosure day (we will get into this later).

3. Fallout day. A day a few weeks down the road. You shouldn't be at this one. This gives people a chance to express themselves. Stress to HR that this should not be a regular occurrence, they do not need to out you every few months. If issues come up, deal with them. If they don't then why stir the pot?

Next part - Disclosure Day