Someday, my Prince wil.....never mind

My Mother is full of advice.

Some of it is wanted - some not. We have age old arguments ("You aren't going to wear THAT, are you?") and she passes along wisdom. Quite a bit of the wisdom is passed on because of what she has perceived from the media and has projected onto me.

One thing in particular has struck me.

"Being a woman is not about being weak. It is about being strong."

She has met some transitioners that have fallen into the stereotype trap. They lapse into exaggerated prissy personalities and emotional frailty.

Why do they equate being a woman with being helpless?

Mom stayed with me both through FFS and SRS. She sat by my side, guarded me, and nursed me to strength. When I mention that my friend so-and-so was really moaning in pain at one of the post-op procedures she states that "So and So needs to toughen up." Sure enough, the procedure when I went through it, wasn't all that bad.

"Cry if you need to not because you are supposed to."

I don't know how many transitioners are waiting for someone to rescue them. Are they passively waiting to be led? I don't see this with many transitioners that I know but I do see it occasionally. Transitioners who, when they tried to live as men, led corporations or their troops into battle, who took apart jet engines (and put them back together). These same people now look befuddled when they go to get their oil changed or no longer know how to fix a leaky toilet.

Bullshit.

You know what to do so do it!

I was never that great with cars but my father taught me what the parts did and I helped repair it from time to time. I do not get ripped off at the repair shot. My father, however, looks very enlightened for teaching his daughter these things.

Now, there is a difference between doing what needs to be done, waiting to be rescued, and stepping back. Doing what needs to be done is when there is no one else to do something. Waiting to be rescued means waiting for someone else to do it and refusing to do it yourself. And stepping back means that someone is there, helping you, and you don't try to take over for them.

I'm not perfect. I have called the roadside assitance to get my tire changed when I am perfectly able to do it myself. But isn't that what I paid the insurance company for? There are times when I step back. When someone tries to fix something for you, sometimes it is better to just let them. It doesn't mean that I don't know how to do it, but why step on their ego? (Yes, I do let men help me rack the weights at the gym if they offer. Acceptance of assistance, freely offered, is no shame).

But feigning incompetence is insulting to other women in general. It is like you are saying "Oh, I am a woman now, so now I have to be stupid and unskilled."

Grrrrr...transitioners who do that really should get a clue.

Suck it up and be a woman about it. Be strong.