The Extremes

I've been following some discussions on the extremes that some transitioners demonstrate. It seems that many transitioners practice hobbies that are considered hyper-masculine and then, when they transition, tend to the hyper-feminine.

If you jump feet first into a pool from a height, your plummet does not stop at the surface of the water. You sink well under the surface. Say you plunge ten feet under water. Do you stay at that depth? No. If you have the requisite level of buoyancy in your system (fat/air/swallowed pieces of styrofoam) you begin an ascent. If you do not move, your body finds its natural level of buoyancy and stays there.

In many ways, transition is like jumping into the water from a vast height. Some people rebel against their identity, they compensate by trying really hard to keep to a masculine ideal. When they jump into transition, they feel they need to leave all of that behind and try to embrace an uber-girly stereotype.

Everyone needs to find their own point of buoyancy - it takes time.

Why do some hold onto stereotypically male hobbies? For that we have to think of why they got into them in the first place. Take cars, for example (not one of my vices but one I have seen). In a little boy, interest in cars can truly be encouraged. Handing wrenches to Dad, learning how things fit together. Making something work. There is a level of acceptance built into the practice. For little girls, it has been seen as odd. The practice was discouraged.

If you are encouraged to do something and an adult takes the time to teach you, you tend to get better at something. People prefer to succeed rather than fail. Success gives you a feeling of accomplishment. You link the hobby with that feeling - it becomes something that gives you comfort.

There are Natal Women who enjoy working on cars. True, they are rare but they do exist. The practice in itself is neither male nor female. Why would you give something up that you enjoy just because it doesn't fit the typical norms?

I suppose in my usually roundabout way is that each of us has to find their own equilibrium. We each need to find the life we are most comfortable in.

So Endeth the Ramble