Support....or something like it

When I think about support groups, I get a pretty specific picture in my head.

 

I see the stereotypical television style AA meeting.  People wandering in to a dim classroom at some community college or off hours at some high school.  The chairs are hard and uncomfortable.  Everyone takes a turn going around the circle and brings up their issues.

 

Why did this picture develop?  I have been to meetings that are remarkably like this.  How did they come to be?  What purpose do they serve?  I have only guesses.

 

When I first began my transition in earnest, my therapist recommended that I go to a local group.  I heard about one nearby so I found out when they met and showed up one week.  It was advertised as a 'Rap Session', an informal gathering but the rituals seemed very structured.  The leader was a nice enough cross dresser, they tried to make me feel welcome.  Anyway, one by one we introduced ourselves.  Little tangents broke out from time to time but eventually we made it around the circle.

 

There was much talk about makeup and wigs.  The majority had gone to a local nail salon prior to the meeting and had long 'dragon lady' nails applied.  Almost without fail all were in dresses.  Most were dressed much too young for their apparent ages.  I went for several months, hoping each time I would 'get it'.

 

I never did get it.  I usually cried on my way home - these people were so lonely.  I am sorry to say I did not 'click' with any of them.  I usually just felt drained.

 

From time to time this group chastised me.  I never wore dresses to the meetings.  I was boring.

 

So how did something like this come together?  I have a theory or two.  Think way back to the days prior to this newfangled Interweb.  How did one find out about transitioning?  How did you find someone to talk to?  I am thinking that a psychologist was probably the answer.  If enough patients from the same shrink had similar issues then it may make sense to get them together.  I think the structure of the meeting probably follows something close to a group session that would have been led by a therapist or psychologist.

 

In general, the situation was forced.  It was not an organic setup it was designed for a more centralized control.

 

So, is there a better way?

 

The Internet affords us communication.  It is much easier to meet people now than ever in..well...ever. I think this gives people opportunity.

 

I have several friends who have transitioned.  Through many means we have come together as a loose group.  People come and go, not everyone can make it every time we get together.  Discussions flow where they will.  Transition is usually mentioned but it is by no means the only subject brought up.  Some people force themselves away but no one is truly, absolutely rejected.

 

I think it is a better way to go.  It is the organic structure as opposed to the manufactured.  The group is a living organism. 

 

When I leave, I don't end up in tears.  I am not drained.

 

Anyway, I think it is a good way for things to be.