The Back Story

Do you tell everyone of your 'function'? That is the real question.

Do you hide it? Sure.

How?

I tell a story.

There are important aspects to telling your story. I prefer not to lie overtly. So I tell the truth - selectively.

Why did you get divorced? We grew apart.

Why don't you have kids? I can't have kids. We tried to adopt but we kept having to move. Considering the divorce, I think it is actually better that we never had them.

Why can't you get pregnant? I don't really have regular periods. I have some hormonal problems that I am getting treated for. At my age it is getting pretty risky.

The list goes on. I don't talk about my marriage all that much so I pretty much appear aloof.

Part of 'the story' that makes it work is in the presentation.

Don't tell all of it.

Don't tell too much of it at once.

Remember it is background, the canvas of your life. Bring the subject back to the present.

Stay consistent.

If you are called on it then you have five choices: Sing, Bedazzle, Boomarang, Amnesia and Run.

Sing. Come clean. If you think the relationship can handle it then spill.

Bedazzle. Tap dance faster. Warning: Things will usually fall apart at this point. Your relationship with this person will probably fail.

Boomarang. Turn the confrontation back on the person. Why are you scrutinizing my life? Be offended. Make accusations. The best defense is a good offense.

Amnesia. Forget the questions as soon as they are asked. Answer a different question than the one asked. This is the senility defense.

Run. "Oh look an eclipse!" Run the other way. Don't return the persons calls. Start over again somewhere else.

I don't recommend any of these. I have done a certain amount of all of them to a certain degree. I haven't lost any friends with any of it.

Do what you will.