If thy child offends thee, cut them off?

I don't understand the impetus behind cutting a transitioner out of the family. What makes a parent believe it is acceptible, right, even preferrable to kick their child out of their home because of transition. I don't understand family members who think that vindictive shunning is a really great idea.

So why do they do it?

First of all, they think you are wrong. They think this is temporary insanity. You read a great article about this in a magazine. You watch the Discovery Channel too much.

You are possessed.

Next, they think this is temporary. If you can ride this out. If you can have holy water sprinkled on you. If you can just convince yourself that you are wrong then you will be back to the 'good old you'.

Blindness. They refuse to acknowledge the signs over the years. They didn't see your pain. If they didn't see it - it did not exist.

Vindictive. You are doing this to hurt them. It is because you are being a spoiled child.

What do they hope to accomplish?

Removing their love can show you how the world will reject you. They are teaching you how cruel the world is. This is akin to beating a soldier nearly to death prior to deploying to a war to show him how painful fighting can be. Or maybe it is like shaving your head before you go to get your hair cut, just to show you what getting your hair cut is like.

If they remove all support then you may be hurt enough. Enough for what? Enough for you to only have one place to turn, back to them. And there are conditions.......

Since you are doing this to hurt them (supposedly), then their reaction is to hurt you first. Childish but definitely a possibility.

They are embarrassed by the subject. Do they really want their friends to know about....this? Can't you just wait til they are dead?

They don't think they know you. How could you hide this? THIS?? Because of this one aspect, everything about your life prior is suspect. What ELSE were you hiding?

What to do?

If you want to keep your family (hey, some don't) then you have to figure some things out. Dealing with parents and siblings as adults is a hard shift to make even without transition being involved.

Who you associate yourself with is a choice.

Be independent. Not alone. Cover your own finances. Have close friends outside the family. Associate with them if it is your choice, not because you feel you have to.

Be giving. Give information. Fulfill your role in the family until they give you a reason not to.

Pick your battles. Understand that this is a BIG change for them. Give them time.

In the end remember it is your life to live and not theirs. To have family support is a fantastic thing but not everyone can have it.