Friday, February 24, 2006

PFA

Much of my life has been a state of Perpetual Frantic Acheivement.
 
I don't know if it has been a depsperate bid for acceptance or a need to prove that I am still a useful member of society despite my unique condition.
 
I suspect that it is a little of both.
 
I was a geek in school, but I was an Alpha-Geek.  I was not truly a loner.  I was social - I was always the leader of some crowd.  I had a lot of friends, some enemies. In general, I got along with most people.
 
But there was always the need to acheive - to prove myself.  It was like saying 'See, transitioning isn't a way to hide.  I am not doing it because I couldn't handle what life threw at me.  Life I can handle.  The transition remains.'
 
 

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

A Villains Journey (part 1)

This will be a different way for me to post my bizarre ideas.  Small bites.
 
No one wakes up in the morning and says 'How can I be a better villain today?' (Fine, prove me wrong and do that tomorrow if you want to).
 
Everyone is the hero of their own story.

Friday, February 10, 2006

Overt Ops

My Overt-Activism is done.
 
That is to say, my going out, representing the 'community', phase of trying to help is no more.  I've done my bit.  I will no longer be the 'Professional Transsexual'.    It is time for others to take those reins.
 
Does that mean that this space is going away?  That I won't post anymore?
 
Nope - I will still share my bizarre philosophical ways with y'all.
 
It means I will not be on the Council at work anymore.  I will not be in the workgroups.  I will not attend conferences as a rep of 'T' (although I may still go to support as an 'A').  I've accomplished a lot but it is time to own my own life again.
 
Sorry.  I realize that this makes me evil and all.
 
If it is any consolation at all, no one in my life believes me when I tell them this anyway.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Bebop of Memory

Bebop is a style of Jazz that originated in the 1940's.  Notable players included Dizzy Gillespie and Charlie Parker (and many others).  It is easily recognizable by rapid, many-noted improvisations based on the chord progressions of familiar music.
 
(Whoa, where is she going with this??)
 
I played bebop in college and I learned some basic tenets:
 
1. There are no wrong notes.  Some are better than others, don't dwell on the not-so-good ones.
2. Don't dwell on the theory.  Note that this is not the same as don't KNOW your theory.  At some point you have to trust what you learned.
3. Hit the important notes.  It takes suprisingly few notes to identify a tune.  Try to hit the important ones.
4. Don't be afraid to drop a few.  Some things are just difficult to play, some things, while important may just be distracting to the piece.  So here is the thing - DON'T PLAY THEM.  If you get the semi-important notes around it, people will actually think you did play them.  It is like the really strong hint of a note.  The term is ghosting
 
If you read all the way back to the beginning of my blog, you will see that I went to my 20 year reunion.  The sameness of the relationships really struck me and I think I know why.
 
We hit the important notes.  We remembered our friendships, the events that we went through together, the shared jokes, the drama.  I didn't dwell on the theory of how I was expected to act.  I didn't sit on the wrong notes that I didn't want to hit (bringing extra attention to my transition).  And I was not afraid to drop a few events that I didn't want to bring focus to.  A couple people actually asked if I had dated their brothers back then.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Another Addiction

I am not a huge fan of Reality TV.  So much of it seems contrived - edited for maximum distortion for dramatic effect.  In non-Reality TV I can respect that.  Heck, I expect it.  But Reality TV makes a point of telling you how REAL their show is.
 
Anyway, that being said....
 
I am somewhat addicted to a Reality TV show.
 
Beauty and the Geek is the 'brainchild' of Ashton Kutcher.  The premise is relatively simple, take purely social beings (vapid variety) and make them interact with people who are social misfits but are more gifted in teh intellect department.
 
Sometimes it is like watching a trainwreck.  The basic problem I see with the show is that the guys WANT to be more social but the women do not care if they learn anything on the intellect side of the house.
 
The moral of the show has a few aspects.
 
1. Develop where you are weak.
2. Proceed with confidence.
3. People are people - duh. 
 
Yes, I have a favorite.  (How do you track monkeys with lasers anyway?  It seems like a RFID-like technology would be more efficient).
 
What do I find the most annoying about geek men anyway?  It is hard to get them to stop being afraid to talk to you.