Do It Yourself or Did It Myself (not telling you to Do It Yourself)

In no way am I encouraging others to do what I have done in self-administering hormones.

See a Doctor. Do it right.

Here was my path in Do It Yourself Hormone Administration:

It was the early 90's (it was the best of times, it was the wors....never mind).

I knew I was going to transition but I had made mistakes that got in my way. I also knew that I needed to start hormones before my 30's.

I had a job that would feel justified in punishing me for transitioning.

I got married.

Now, the job I had was an excellent experiment in over-compensation but I did enjoy aspects of it. I failed at 'being a man' there.

I married my friend. It seemed the thing I was supposed to do (regardless of the fact that I was not really attracted to women). Hope for a cure? %100. Possibility of it curing me? %0.

Back to the subject.

I started with herbals. They were legal and if I got caught then I could feign some kind of ignorance of their effects.

I took Dong Quai, Black Cohosh, Saw Palmetto, Vitex.

The results were minimal. I had some initial breast growth. I gained weight.

I belonged to some online forums (BBS's) at the time. I was scared to death of actual hormones (surely I would get caught!). But, I had done some research and figured if I kept the dosage low, I would be okay.

Someone took me to Tijuana and we went to the pharmacy.

I started on .625 mg Premarin a day and 10 mg Provera, cycled (15 day).

The Provera made me moody for a few days a month but I did see progress.

I added Nizoral (tablets, not the shampoo). The trick was that you could only take it for 4 weeks at a shot - it dehydrated the body massively. I learned that you do not take sudafed on this or my lips dried up to a nasty degree. I did a cycle of Nizoral every 4-5 months or so.

Okay, this is the really-really dangerous/stupid part. My breasts were developing but the shape was all weird. They were not 'filling out'.

(Stupid Part coming up)

I researched induced lactation. No, I did not want to lactate but instead wanted to mature my breasts by 'getting them ready to work'.

There were a couple techniques.

One involved building up hormone dosages to a massive level and then cutting them off suddenly.

Pumping, even on breasts that were not lactating. Was supposed to help.

Drug therapies.

I researched the drugs. It turns out one was Metocloperamide (not sure if I spelled that right). Side effects included possible nervous disorders, uncontrollable muscle twitches, and a bunch of other stuff.

I did that stuff two or three times. You do not combine it with Provera (progesterone dries up the milk ducts while M tried to fill them up). It seemed to work well, things rounded nicely.

I tried Estradiol for a while. It also worked well in the tiny doses I was taking. Some time in there, I started Spironolactone in small doses.

I developed a feedback method for determining dosages. The beginning stage of breast growth is 'breast buds', fibrous tissue that is directly under the nipple area. If the buds started to go away then I adjusted dosages to get them back. It was painful but productive.

I think the important thing is to not overdo things. Listen to your body. Don't expect immediate results.

By the time I got on a stable regimen that was monitored, I had developed what I have now (somewhere between a C and a D, depending on the bra).

My musculature is still changing slowly. I am still overweight. I have a large frame (common in my family even for the women - I am shaped like my Grandmother). Male Pattern body hair has all but disappeared and I have pretty good skin.

Once again I do not recommend this route. What I did was dangerous and stupid (though technically legal at the time).